How to get closure from ex reddit. Closure is not something you get from someone else.
How to get closure from ex reddit. It takes awhile but I does get better.
How to get closure from ex reddit My ex refused to give me any closure. And a lot about grief. My ex and I could at least be friends, because we did have a good connection at one point in time. You wouldn't have to struggle sleeping thinking what went wrong or what you could've done differently and where you would've ended. my ex and i also were each other's firsts and extensively planned our lives together, talking about marriage, immigration; etc Even how much you try, it's rare that anyone will get a closure from talking with their ex. Apologies can go a long way in healing people, I think. Right now, I feel calm. If you ever get to the point where you go wow I haven't though about him in months/years then you have reached a point of closure When an avoidant isn't self-aware, they seem to have this attitude of, oh, this is what I've always done. He texted me for my birthday saying something along the lines of “you’re always in my heart no matter where I am or where Don't let yourself get hung up on closure. Join us for game discussions, tips and tricks, and all things OSRS! OSRS is the official legacy version of RuneScape, the largest free-to-play MMORPG. How to get closure when a relationship ends badly. Don’t get me wrong I’m still confused by my Ex’s behaviour. To my emotionally inept dismissive avoidant ex - may However, if your relationship was anything like mine, he had thought of me daily since May. So if I get closure for me, I’m usually good. Only mine. In my experience they almost always come back. The physical closure you The journey of closure, with insights from Reddit users' experiences. The community for Old School RuneScape discussion on Reddit. You may envision sitting down with them and getting answers to your burning questions, the questions that wake you up at How do you end a relationship, especially when unsure if you’ll get closure or things will simply disappear? Reddit’s r/adultery addressed this tightrope lately, and as you would One way to attempt to resolve any anger, confusion, or hurt you may be experiencing is by contacting your ex and attempting to have a "closure talk” in order to move forward. Your closure is how you resolve the matter on your own. And my ex told me not to message him, I love him and want to respect his wishes. Pump the brakes - let’s think this through. My ex went from being all lovey dovey one day to blocking me and dating another guy a day later. Hope you get your closure and dont have to worry about her anymore in the This! I'm sorry you're going through this too. Focus on what I did, how I behaved and come to terms with it. They tried to get "closure" by asking me to explain what they did wrong so they would never do it to someone else again. Now, some people feel they need an explanation or to know all the answers before they're willing to accept what happened, but that's not always going to be possible. My ex texted me 4 months after I left him (he was abusive). That’s hard for me, cause there’s still a lot I wanted to talk about in order to get my peace and move forward. In return she also gets upset because I wasn’t supporting her. Rapid weight gain/loss of interest in fitness is definitely very common with depression and her mental health is the more serious issue here. Do not look at it as anything else. Once the breakup has been fully complete and that closure was given yet the other partner still doesn't want to let go, that's a different story but up until then, both partners are required to give mutual respect. Also getting closure totally depends on the person. NC for 3 weeks and rhen were in contact for 5. There are two types of closure: physical and emotional. See a therapist and do some There is no such thing as a completely clean break up and closure. I felt a wave of relief after I told her that I cared and will always care for her. it is close to five months now and still waiting Not the dumper here, just to be clear, but I'm done making MY sense of closure dependent on anyone else. “When my ex-AP [affair partner] wanted to No matter the reason for a break up, closure is extremely important to everyone. Or maybe not. Honestly, whenever I get the urge, i talk to someone else a friend, family, play video games, listen to music, distract myself and mostly go on reddit. Real closer is completely letting this go. Or check it out in the app stores I didn't get much in the way of closure from him, just a lot of excuses and "But you'll find love someday". I can't say that I know how to get closure, but I can say that hearing them say that they know hurt you doesn't really help. " So step letting him guilt you into beating a dead horse. In addition to texting friends when I felt the urge to reach out to the ex, I also used the rubber band method. How to get closure from ex best friend I won't go into too much detail. in december of 2023 he matched with me on tinder and i wished him a merry christmas, that was that. People commonly think about closure as something you gain through conversations with your ex. I had an ex friend corner me after a mutual friend's birthday party to try to "get closure" and rekindle the friendship 10 years after I ended it due to her frankly abusive behaviour towards me. Let’s leave the past in the past - they’ll have to reach their own closure. When you let go of needing his cooperation, agreement, and participation, you will get closure. Ex Machina is a great film overall and has a ton going for it, but I'm confused with how the director chose to end the film. Or check it out in the app stores TOPICS. It was quite the mess. It’s the not knowing if they’ll come back or not that drives you batty the first few months. i was too eager for reconciliation and a possible relationship that i scared him off. I just wanted to share this in case anyone is looking to see their ex for closure, sometimes seeing them to get that closure will make you feel worse than you did before. My experience. They don’t understand why their ex feels and behaves the way they feel and behave. 1000 percent agreed, most people won't accept it but your ex doesn't like you and you should not like your ex. You do run the risk of them gaslighting you or blame shifting, but you may also get some of the answers you need. I still struggle with why my ex let it get to the point where I felt so miserable in the relationship that I had to end it. Sometime the time and space you give yourself away from that situation is the closure you really need. Instead I get upset that she is still thinking about her ex and thinking about what would happen if they stayed together. Maybe they come back, reborn and ready to Get the Reddit app Scan this QR code to download the app now. Blocked my ex (we were no Closure like this isn't real. If you need it you can reach out but do it after the initial heartbreak and the tornado of emotions have passed. They told me that there’s no point in bringing it up now (it’s been about 2 months, but he was cheating for 3-4, if not more, months), because it’s in the past. This man has a new relationship and you reaching out now will only serve you. Closure is definitely worth it. This made me I’d try therapy if that’s you’re thing to get to the bottom of why you even felt the need to do that. I don’t regret doing it but is tough to navigate. My closure was "I realize what I did to contribute my part to the downfall of our marriage. I broke up with my ex in January of this year after a 5 year long relationship because I found out that he had been messaging other women while we were together. Before I felt content but now I just feel hurt, disappointed, and embarrassed. He said he wants to know what went down between them so that they can be on better terms in future. For you to move on to the next steps of getting through a breakup, you need to just get enough closure so that whatever remains unanswered isn’t strong enough to hold you back from moving forward. I'm in a weird position with my ex. Now there is no need to look for reasons why it Exes very rarely meet our expectation of what we think closure is about and quite frankly, unless they’re down and out, crawling around your feet begging for another chance, and you get the opportunity to walk out with a flounce, there is no type of meeting that is likely to leave you satisfiedand not wanting. You have to figure out why the relationship didn't work out or wouldn't work out. You have to get it for yourself in the form of healing, reflection, and getting over them. i do still miss my ex from time to time but it's nowhere near that full-bodied, agonising grief from before. New comments cannot be posted and votes cannot be cast. It's sad that your ex will continue to be deficient in the relationship skills that he lacked when he was in his early 20s. TLDR: I gave too much in my LDR and avoidant ex won't give closure. I would say you should trust yourself & ur gut feeling. My boyfriend broke up with his ex-wife a year ago (they were married for 5 years) and we have been together for nine months. Don’t try and get closure as well. My gf asked me to unfriend my ex, and she explained why she wanted me to. My thoughts are ruminating about how I still love him but I majorly messed up, how he probably hates my guts now and will forget about me and my efforts. Or check it out in the app stores This spoke to me. But its possible you would get the closure you want instead of constantly wondering or filling the blanks in And maybe, who knows after 2 years (she is moving out for a masters degree) what life will bring us, maybe we get back together after working on our issues. You most likely already know what happened and closure is just having the person who chooses to Yes, I got back with my ex after a year apart. The best way to get closure on your own is to accept and embrace uncertainty. If you have an ex who is remorseful and you're on good terms with who is willing to do this, take the opportunity. What we cannot give advice on: rants, unsolicited advice, medical conditions/advice, mental illness, letters to an ex, "body counts" or number of sexual partners, legal problems, financial problems, or situations involving minors and/or abuse (violence, sexual, emotional etc). He can give himself closure. It wasnt enough. Our relationship was nothing short of tumultuous, with a lot of fighting and arguing from both sides especially with our most recent one last June, leading us to breaking up. I meant to send a picture to someone else but it accidentally got sent to her. Short answer, yes. I don't mind being held accountable for my actions but I'd prefer to at least be informed what I did wrong before being blocked. But if you feel that there is still something left unsaid. Whenever ive gotten closure, I wish I never asked. Still haven’t contacted my ex and it’s been well over a year now. he says things and then acts like he No. Talk directly to them. During my last break up, I hit the breaking point with my ex who was being incredibly emotionally abusive. It started off great, but we quickly fell into old patterns. he had lost feelings for me and had no interest in getting back together with me (which was understandable bc it was my View community ranking In the Top 1% of largest communities on Reddit. You’ll get closure on your own. From your perspective, this is the only way you can get closure. It's so so hard. It's a normal emotional process to get closure with one's ex. They might say, for example, I always hurt people. I choose to finally let him go that’s my closure. What my ex is doing is cruel and heartless! We all think we’re owed something because we made the investment. he made it I keep trying to process certain things he said to me and it just makes me so sad. I have to be able to get closure for me only. If they wanted to help with your feelings, they wouldn’t be an ex. 2 people have to consciously build a new relationship and start from scratch. I reached out to my ex after 7 months and we finally met in person to discuss our relationship. I don’t think you can receive closure from your ex’s end. But the truth is, I never liked her in the first place. A few more years pass, and my gf asks me to unfriend my ex. All bans in this subreddit are permanent. Or check it out in the app stores I was looking to either reconnect or get some closure and was considering sending a letter apologising and thanking them for creating some memories and My most recent ex and I broke up and couldn’t have ended things on a worse note. Closure is really overrated just take it off the equation, there is no need of it really and move on. If you are mature, and are dating someone mature - you can get your closure before you part ways. We definitely didn’t have closure but you can’t get closure with those types of people. 10 years I a lot of time invested in a friendships. I tell her I don’t want her thinking cheating is okay and she needs to feel bad. The main thing this break up thought me - everyone you speak to about your break up will have an opinion. The closure talk is essentially an excuse to have one last conversation with your ex. A lot of dumpers already have someone else lined up so they just jump straight into that new relationship after they've gotten rid of you. 5 years ldr and i wrote a 3 page letter to my ex after weeks of begging, pleading for him back. It's realizing over time why things ended and that your life has more up ahead than what the relationship brought. I knew then that I would have to give myself closure and move on. We decided to leave children with the grand parents and organized an impromptu date night instead. I understand wanting to hear it, but it doesn't provide the closure you're looking for. EDIT: Didn't respond and blocked him on FB. My ex and I broke up over the phone and I really wanted that last conversation in person for closure. Ask myself what I learned and how to avoid negative situations in the future. A really important thing to understand here is what no closure post-breakup means. And no opinion really matters because only two people who know your case are you and your ex. I'll be doing so for a while, but hearing things like "When it came down to it, when things got tough, they If you are struggling with getting closure with an ex, ask yourself why you want to talk to them. Like he was telling me what I wanted to hear so I'd go back. If you didn’t get the closure because of ghosting, you have to think of why you don’t need someone who did that to you. But I would like to hear from people who do think closure is a 'good idea' so to speak. Talking to her in person for closure is just an excuse to stay in contact with her (with respect, been there done that no judgement). Two years later she self-sabotaged and blindsided me and ran because she wasn’t over her past. It will help you to move on. Chasing closure is a fool's errand; focusing on the past only keeps you from focusing on moving on. You don't need him to acknowledge the lies, you know they were lies. Stayed with my bf who was active on the apps „for fun“ and then he actually cheated lmao. In the end, I believed that I would have a better chance of getting closure if I had some clarity about why it broke into pieces. Because you will never get the truth. That wasn't closure, that was trying to get emotional labor out of me, and likely another attempt to try to manipulate me. Why doubt yourself. I need to let go and move on. I made the mistake of flipping out today and he's blocked me on everything now. In the relationship I didn’t communicate and basically swallowed my truth to keep her happy because I felt like she was the type of person to run away when conflict arrives based on her falling out with our mutual friend. Watching this video on youtube by Heidi Priebe was really helpful for me. As title says, my ex cheated on me, I keep trying to get closure. Get app How To Get Closure Right now you have more questions than answers. Texting every day, met up several times, every time we met up we got closer. They get stuck in this freeze state, and the only way to get rid of it is for them to run, or behaviours continue to happen that make you run. Personally it did wonders for me. Valheim; Genshin Impact; ever get closure, from your ex. Posted by u/robinsparklezzzzz - 2 votes and 4 comments Closure much like happiness has to come from within not something that someone you've deemed unworthy of your time and affection can provide. For context, my ex and I have known each other as sophomores in the same university and have dated for 4 years. TL;DR: Met up w/ my ex after 3 months since BU. As the title said when is it appropriate to reach out and try and get closure from your ex after a confusing last text and last communication. Nope. coincidentally, im planning to text my ex right now! but decided to go on reddit first. Guys/girls, please tell me if you had this feeling as well after having the closure talk and when it disappeared. In theory, this sounds harmless. I went into meeting her with the idea of moving on and acceptance. i was with my ex for 1. Same here, I’ll never understand it, ever. He would say things like "I make time for you" or "I'm trying to learn to get to know you better" or "I want to love you". Or, I don't know what to do, I'm hurting you. It’s exactly what I needed today to remind of why my ex won’t give me closure. You presumably respected and admired your ex for any number of reasons. They usually come back when you’ve began to move on, they usually have a hard time flat out admitting they’re wrong and want you back, it’ll never be the same. Honestly, you'll never know if you'll ever get closure. She sued me on my birthday for child support i dont have and moved the new guy in already and for some reason treats me like absolute shit and i have no hope of closure i have no idea if she will regret it and want me back. You get to move on, that's literally what a breakup is. Completely agree with that. But you can get closure without talking to her, I guarantee it She wanted me to support her cause she was feeling like crap about cheating. You cannot get closure from your ex. I mean don't stalk her or be toxic. I’d wear a rubber band on my wrist and any time my ex occupied my mind (or I was tempted to reach out) I’d snap it. I, personally, will never know but if anyone finds themselves in a situation where an ex reaches out to apologize, really center yourself before you respond. It’s the conversation where you’re supposed to get all of your questions answered about where the relationship went wrong and get all those loose ends from the breakup tied up. It fucks toy over and over TLDR: Very wealthy ex wants to meet up for "closure" years after we broke up. My relationship ended amicably. it's more nostalgia to me now than anything with real pain. Too many dumpers want it for free in the form of staying friends and remaining in contact. You're just reopening that door. I don’t mean to be rude but you’re coming across as a little self-centred. When people say they got no closure, what they really mean is: 1. You wanting to “help” with his feelings if he “ever wants to talk” is happening because you haven’t actually processed and started treating him as an ex. If you got an ending but you still don’t feel good about the break up, That tactic worked for me. The moment The one person in the world you absolutely don’t get to ask to help with your feelings is your ex. A polite decline would have sufficed. Some people will get closure easily others might not even get closure during lifetime. Whatever the reason is, what they are saying is: I don’t want to be with you anymore. Get the Reddit app Scan this QR code to download the app now And I have texted them from urges and gotten the closure I needed. I don’t want to get your hopes up, but exes definitely do come back. But that’s the attachment doing it’s thing. Because of FB's algorithm, my ex was liking/laugh reacting to a lot of my posts before my gf saw them. We loved each other but we were very toxic. My ex-wife and I were together for 17 years before she divorced me. r/relationship_advice A chip A close button. Their closure is they dumped you and they don't get to have access any more. One: Very often, the dumper themselves He needs to heal. I wish I had some closure but that’s just gonna come with time. So if someone does get back together (chances are very small and situational) then u both need to be able to sit down and talk about what Healing will take time. hey, came back to revisit this post after a while. Giving you closure isn't important to them because they simply don't care. The worst that could happen is that you wont get your questions answered. It’s my side of the street - I can’t control what others do on their streets. I personally got closure because I saw her in person and I realized I wouldn’t want to date her anymore and so did she. Period. There is potential that your ex would give you genuine closure, or answer unanswered questions you have. And most people that come up with this closure BS is only using that to get back into the person's presence, that is it. In all honesty don’t wait for him. Most tragic situations in life don't come with closure, and this is no different. Break up was 2 months ago. Men who treat women poorly don’t even care about us. Here is the truth: You don't need closure from him, at all. . We spoke a lot about my ex-partner. He treated me super cold after the breakup and then rebounded to a new girl who interestingly enough, has a lot in common with me. You didn’t mention anything about her being depressed - you just made her out to sound like she couldn’t be bothered and only talked about your feelings. 3. So we got to a mutual understanding that we cared for each other but were better off apart. Say if they tell you “they don’t love you” you will say “ok” but then you won’t accept it I held on for 9 weeks to get my closure as I adamantly believed this will set me free, it didn’t believe me. Im sorry you’re going through this as well. If you’re willing to take that chance, then that’s your choice. Figure out why you were okay doing that in the moment, what brought you there and then work on never letting it get to that point again. Hi all. Reiterating what u/punninglinguist said, the ball is now in YOUR Closure isn't "talking to your ex until you feel better about the break up". Don‘t let the same happen to you, I wish I didn‘t talk to him „for closure“ (I wanted the same thing) because he managed to manipulate me into staying with him and hurt me even worse. I had her blocked on everything except email. I wouldn’t try really hard after that though. If they wanted to be with you, they wouldn't have cheated on you. Or check it out in the app stores I'm sure she thought I had to have been off the rails when I wrote the email, but I basically wanted a final act of closure, to know she was doing okay, and to know she was happy. Share Closure is not something you get from someone else. Things don’t get wrapped in pretty, consumable packages like in movies. and since then we’ve talked here and there, and it’s been confusing every time. I had blocked him on everything, but he moved and got a new phone. That's the price they pay for leaving. I cannot wait to find my version of the perfect man for me because it was never him. Yeah closure can be very slippery you won’t always get it and when you do not in the way you expected. And so I did. nothing till now. Make that decision on your own terms. Gaming. And you can get stuck on the "why" of the situation and dwell on it until it makes you insane. Liked some of my runs, and unfollowed yesterday. Sometimes exes don’t want to hurt us by telling the true reason why they broke up & many here will never get proper closure. It doesn't mean she forgot about you, or wants to get back with him. You don’t get closure from someone else, you give yourself closure, because you already got Last week, we were having a late night chat when he said that he was thinking to meet his ex to get closure, to talk about what exactly went wrong. Hi was just looking in reddit for people in similar experience i left sg 2013 and have also submitted my documents for cpf closure last july 3. that set off my unresolved feelings and expectations from our past. I'm hoping a good book where the lead goes through a heartbreak and struggles in coping up with life without her but eventually realising life is much more than such love. They still have to keep in contact over the sale of their house. I’m usually Secure in romantic relationships that are more than a few months. The whole 7 years thing is the biggest guilt trip. No one can “give” closure, it simply happens with time and understanding and acceptance. But “coming back” isn’t always what you think it or want it to be. You really cannot say anything to give her closure. That includes mourning what could have been, all the errors of the past. Strangely enough, a similar thing happened to me this week - my ex followed me on Strava on Monday. As if, it was my fault he cheated on me with dozens and dozens of escorts. Learn to navigate ending an affair and decode the language of online affairs. I’ve been married to the HS ex for over 15 years Posted by u/kingyoung23 - 1 vote and no comments So it's been more two years now and I haven't yet gotten over my ex. My ex didn't really give me the closure I wanted. Even if it’s just to confirm they don’t have feelings But if you’re keen to gain clarity and hopefully peace from your ex—and they are open to having that conversation with you—here are some steps you can take to have the closure conversation The Post-Breakup Guide to Dealing with Social Media and Your Ex Dealing with Breadcrumbs If you are feeling suicidal or want to self-harm, contact a prevention hotline immediately. They may not say anything, may not say enough, or say too much. It set my mental health back. The closure comes from within yourself. As someone who likes to get closure whenever it is possible, it really pains and frustrates me that some people have blocked me over some things I didn't even know would upset them. Thanks for sharing this. Would just like to know if I'm being reasonable. We hooked up, then again, then again, and then again. Sure, you'd like to know why it ended, what went wrong, etc, but sometimes you have to accept that you're never going to get an acceptable or understandable answer. It means she's just acknowledging what she lost in the time she spent with him. You don't get closure from others. Or else it will come back and bite you in the ass down the road. I started moving on because I wanted him to notice I had changed for the best. You have to ask yourself “is this going to get me closer to the future I want?”. Put everything you want to say in the letter. Or check it out in the app stores Most think they refuse to give closure because their ex is being manipulative, too narcissistic and cruel. He will lie, you won‘t get closure. Closure is Write a letter. He’s aware he’s not responding and is actively choosing to do so. They have been together for the past 7-8 months. Writing letters, or arranging to meet 'one last time' to get closure, is a pointless exercise. What's worse, is that people often get hung up on closure as a crutch, which can lead to a positive feedback loop of dark feelings that repeats over time. I didn't receive all the answers I was looking for but it was enough for me to move on. You are going to have to make your own. Absolutely you should, although you may never get the closure you want. Or check it out in the app stores My ex of 8-9 months broke up with me in October as well and I was still confused and didn’t get any closure until April, 6 months later. I've had heartwarming closure talk with a situationship "ex", that really helped me heal from a bad breakup prior, gain perspective on how said relationship had always been flawed, and despite Post-relationship "closure" is a way to re-connect. OP, it's ok to want a joyful life. The only thing I got from him was a weak apology and a list of reasons as to why I was the one to blame. u cannot bring the old I asked this request for safety reasons. You will not find closure from the source of which caused you great pain. b) If your ex hasn't grown as a person and still maintains these deficits in communication, that's more sad than anything else. Is it to get them back? Is it to get them to validate the relationship? This! I've never understood the need for "closure". Expecting your ex to give you closure is like expecting the car jacker who just stole your car to buy you a new car. If he's the right one for you I think he will be understanding, reassure you and be considerate in the future when it comes to this topic. It takes awhile but I does get better. I'm still crawling out of the hole. Anyone claiming to be a Christian who questions you divorcing an adulterer doesn't know Holy Scripture. Get the Reddit app Scan this QR code to download the app now Ways to find closure from an ex when they won’t give it to you themselves? Archived post. I actually did get back together with my ex but now 3 months later she dumped me again (still fresh) The biggest things u should take away from my experience is, there was a reason why the person broke up. Get the Reddit app Scan this QR code to download the app now. She will have to find that on her own, in her own time. We’ve been dating for 2 years since and about 7 years total. In 2023, on 14 february I dated my ex girlfriend for the first time. tl;dr I want to get closure from a relationship that happened 5 years ago. The future that you want probably does not include this ex in your life. They always give you closure, and that closure lies in their decision. The biggest thing that’s helped me is to get closure. Thank you for sharing, I’m proud of your self growth, and really respect that I'm sure plenty of you have similar stories of relationships ending and you never really get a good reason why, just no closure. Anytime I dumped someone I always answered texts. She may see other people and that’s a fact you’ll have to face but they all come back if you put in the work on yourself. " Like you said, you needed to know why it was over. One thing you have to accept is that relationship have anyway ended. When you wait for closure, you’re actually waiting for your ex to give you the permission to make the decision to let go. I can see how as his girlfriend of 1 year his ex of 10 years can be really intimadting and i dont think the jealousy is irrational. It’s just all bad endings. Closure is moving on with your life, that's what closure is. I did find it odd, why he wants to have a closure after all these years. The memories keep hitting me and I get depressed just thinking of them. If you’re not, allow me to explain. Keep it up, you are the most important person in Posted by u/throwaway76010 - 1 vote and 6 comments. You can't "give him closure. If you really want to get over your ex and emotionally heal without closure, then you need to stop chasing after them and stop waiting it is true that the only possibility of u and ur ex getting back together is if u work on urself. But there's something you want them to know, or there's something that you feel that you want to get off of your chest. My closure with my ex 5 years ago was that we both kept forcing to work when we should extreme incompatibility. They don’t know why their relationship ended and don’t understand why they got dumped. We think we’re owed closure from the other person. " Then a bunch of bullshit apologies and how she still loved me in order to get some sympathy while being rejected by someone else. I told her I’d still like to have a closure talk when she’s ready. And he's trying to bait you into an argument, to "prove TLDR: Girlfriend breaks up with me because she has unresolved feelings for her former abusive ex, she gets back together with him and things go bad, she then wants to get back together with me but quickly changes her mind. Whom I divorced almost 2 years ago. The best kind of closure is improving your life and becoming happier than you were when you were with your ex. However, if you need to get things off YOUR chest there’s several things you can do. This. I recently started seeing a therapist to get some things off my chest and take care of my mental wellbeing. u need to be okay with being alone, and have happiness within urself for that relationship to work a second time around. A couple months in, I met someone at a wedding and he invited me to another wedding. Sure, it's better for YOU to "forgive" your ex but that has nothing to do with you reconciling with an adulterer. But essentially myself (19F) and my super close friend(19F) from high school recently had a huge falling out. By the time you've done that, you've already gotten what you wanted from closure - a new life with him solidly in the past. For several reasons. It’s selfish and you need to get closure with a therapist. Hence acceptance that it just didn’t work out & no contact is recognised as the best way of moving on. Honestly it won’t make you feel better if you don’t get the answer you were expecting. I love this! I watched a YouTube video, the girl in it said that getting your ex back and moving on completely from your ex were two things that took the exact same path. I have accepted all the possible outcomes. I’m friends with other Ex’s and remain very close to my Ex of 14 years as we weren’t dysfunctional, great friends, can communicate though it took some time to adjust. You get it from within when you learn to accept the outcome. For me, it just felt fake. In this case, it most certainly doesn't sound like it. If you really want to reach out for closure, go for it, but I would be prepared for the chance of no answer being your closure. That’s all the closure you need. Get someone who’s healthy and ready for a relationship. Then say it and you might get closure. 2. If not, just work it out internally, ya you’re gonna feel bad but take the time to work on yourself. So don’t wait around for your ex to give you permission to let go and move on. I tried to get closure from my cheating Ex. But, after more time passed she said she doesn’t want to have that talk and just wants to move forward. I had 2 kids with my ex and she left for someone else. Even if you move on, meet others, go on with your life without much thought of your ex, the missing closure will be an unhealed wound that will bother you for years, maybe even the rest of your life. She blindsided me. Ex No Contact is a breakup support group focused on self-reliance and general healing. Open menu Open navigation Go to Reddit Home. Even if the dumper gives you an explanation, it's often so convoluted and full of half truths because they're obsessed with portraying themselves as "the good guy," and writing stories in their head to justify how they've hurt you — it can't be trusted. Not hard or enough to hurt myself, but the action of snapping the rubber band would ground me immediately. Nothing is good enough. Time passes, I’m getting better and I’m NOT talking to him at all. Even if you sent the perfect message seeking for closure, ghosters are cowards, they're weak person with no spine! They'll just leave you hanging. I give myself closure. Idk much about the situation, but if you think that the way you handled things hurt her, and apology could help her get closure. Closure is healing over time to where you're break up fades into memories and only carries the lessons learned. And guess what? Two years after the break up, i still have things to say, tho Im finally starting to move on. If you don’t need the closure, girl don’t even bother; be mean right back. I am glad you found closure but its hard for me and im sure others. Reaching out to ask for closure? Hello everyone. Take the time to grieve and feel the emotions that come. this is long. I reached out a hand full of times and was ignored each time. but i just want to know what happened during people’s last interactions with their ex’s and hopefully hear some stories and some advice. Closure is something you get from within not from someone else. but when o want to text him I work down whatever it is I want to say to him on a piece of paper , read it over then burn it ! Has been doing that for the past 18 months, because I know I would not get the answer I need from him , so I don’t want to put myself they the pain . Initially I was going to because it was a serious relationship but by the time I had that closure talk 2 weeks after the BU I realised that if she is so on the fence about me to BU and the realise it's a mistake and want to get back together she just isn't the one. Long answer: An appropriately mature closure should remove most of the doubts and uncertainties from your relationship (break-up). I’m in the same boat ! I want closure so bad to be able to move on . In the end, we realized we were better off as friends; I re-dated three different ex girlfriends from high school through post-college. It will take time and she will try to contact you if you do NC right. i followed up and they replied that it is still being processed. Full closure. At some point, I could feel my feelings for him resurface because I would get occasional mixed signals. I'll be completely honest with you. Exes very rarely meet our expectation of what we think closure is about and quite frankly, unless they’re down and out, crawling around your feet begging for another chance, and you get the opportunity to walk out with a flounce, there is no type of meeting that is likely to leave you satisfiedand not wanting. on valentine’s day this year he texted me to say “happy valentine’s day”. And why HE let it persist and why he always said he loved me so much and we could get through any distance when he didn't seem to be into it anymore. I don't know why folks just can't leave it at that. Posted by u/ThrowRa19967883 - No votes and 1 comment If your ex needs closure he needs to go to counseling; you don't owe a cheater a blessed thing. I didnt need to say anything to them to gain that. Well a year later he randomly reached out and the feelings were still there on my end. Well, when your ex simply refuses to give you any type of closure, you can either accept it or continue reaching out and risk looking crazy and pathetic. So, closure. But you don’t have to talk to her again to get closure. I never really got "closure" from him, but if nothing this relationship taught me that closure really is an illusion and something we must give to ourselves. My advice is don't get into much detail, and assure her she doesn't need to reply, but you just want her to know that you're sorry for whatever you're sorry for. Could be jealousy, could be drugs, could be he had crush on you, you won’t know until you ask. I got my closure when the other guy messaged me and everything I believed ended up being true. My ex said something very similar before telling me she was in My ex was kind enough to meet me 1 month after the break up, but i didnt get any closure, just said somethings i needed to say. The avoidant Must find their courage and get a grip to give proper closure and investment to someone. You don't get a free pass. I don't know how to go about it I (23F) want closure from my ex (23M). People need answers, closure, I might’ve ended things in the past with others, but I always tried to be a decent human being about it. Closure means different things to different people; for me it was knowing and understanding that she was not the person I thought she was nor wanted to be in a relationship with. If you need closure, don’t go into it unprepared. Often when we want closure and answers from an ex it is not actually closure and answers we are seeking but rather giving ourselves a reason to contact an ex and experience a dopamine hit, you are essentially being driven by a need for a fix. It was the only time that I got anything remotely similar to an explanation of what happened, and it basically just boiled down to "Hey Accidentally texted ex, should I get closure. so if u take this route and they end up coming back u need to be healed and stronger than u were before. Also to the people who don't believe in closure, cool. Yes, and I actually should have said that; only you can give yourself "closure. She talks about the internal states of having a relationship end in a rupture without repair. You realized when reaching out that you knew exactly why it was over, and at least it woke you up to the fact that you were better off. Their breakup was an ugly one - they didn't get along towards the end, much resentment, etc. so coming this weekend is going to be two weeks since the breakup. There were some fertility issues we tried to deal with at the tail end of our marriage as we were trying to start a family, but other than that Most people who successfully get back together don't come back on to a reddit breakup sub because they're not broken up. It happened with my ex except she kept pursuing the relationship. I know you’re not my ex, but if you told me they wrote this I’d believe you. To be succinct: dated for 9 months, first long term relationship, she got pregnant and abortion,caused a rift from stress and drama eventually we All bans in this subreddit are permanent. Talk to her if you want but there’s a good chance it will be painful and the conversation will only leave both of you feeling worse. It provided some closure- we agreed to talk 6 months after the break up. ggjob keeipdt hrcs xjzbor gtzsbnx ndscw vlyix zoga qtf lrjfj